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A female friend of mine told me she received many messages from people wanting to have sex with her; people only interested in sexting; and people only interested in phone sex.Another female friend received a message from a man who said, “I see you want someone who is sexually knowledgeable but not sexually obsessed.I don’t put much stock in psychic readings, so when a palm reader told 17-year-old me that 1) I would be single for five years before I met Mr.Right and 2) I’d kiss a LOT of frogs along the way, I dismissed his reading as the blathering of an old man looking to make a few extra bucks. When I was in my mid-20s, I spent four years as a single gal.If you don’t see anything that indicates a potential for strong sexual chemistry, don’t rush into the sex talk.You wouldn’t go up to a woman in a bar and ask how often she likes to have sex, right? Chances are you ask her if you can buy her a drink first. The beauty about online dating is you can find out if someone exhibits one of your deal-breakers just by reading their profile.

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Here’s a message a female friend received from a man after not responding to three messages he sent her: “So you’re clearly one of those clueless c*nts that gives women a bad name. Don’t bother responding NOW.” What I learned is if women respond to let men know they’re not interested, men get nasty. Online dating can certainly take a toll on your self-esteem since you will probably experience more rejection there than in real life, simply due to the sheer number of candidates you are able to contact.

Think about those initial conversations as that first drink—get to know each other a little before diving into more personal conversations. Some of mine include smoking, excessive drinking, and having kids.

Those are pretty standard questions in an online dating profile, so the men who answered them saved both of us a lot of time.

I once received a message on Ok Cupid from a man more than 25 years my senior who told me he’d like to teach me a thing or two in the bedroom.

He was responding to a quiz question I had answered that had to do with sex; there was no open invitation on my part for men to come teach me —in the bedroom or not.

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